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A great example of doing it wrong

Just received this email:

Hey my name is Controvercy and im an Underground Rap star and wanted to no if you will take a lision to my stuff. im on reverbnation and have been wrighting music for over 11 years now and i feel its time to Go Big into the music bizz. im looking for a Record deal and to hitt main stream. i have high goles and wanna no if you might be able to give me that one shot to Grateness. hitt me back and let me no if you can help me. thank you.

I’ll just pull out my 21st century American to English dictionary…

Good day sir.

My name is Controversy.  I am an underground rap artist.

I would like to know if you would have a listen to my music that can be found on Reverb Nation (link goes here).

I have been writing music for over eleven years and I feel it is time to ascend in the music industry. I am looking for a record contract and mainstream exposure.

(indecipherable gibberish omitted)

I would greatly appreciate any help you can provide.

Thank you.

Not great, still uninteresting but much better I think.

THe claims to have been writing music for eleven years, which means he must be at least twelve years old, and there is no excuse for his spelling and grammar if he is older than that.


  1. Dave
    Dave October 7, 2011

    Looks like some of the emails I get from students. I really shake my head when they’re all in caps, end with exclamation marks or have txt shrtcts throughout.

    If you’re sending anything to someone other than your best friend, there’s no excuse for bad grammar or spelling…

  2. Andrew (CobaltAudio)
    Andrew (CobaltAudio) October 7, 2011

    Wow. That really is quite amazingly bad.

    Maybe he doesn’t realise that the red squiggly line under words means it’s probably spelled wrong.

    Perhaps he thinks they mean it’s just such an awesome word that it needs to be underlined in squiggly red?

  3. Dan
    Dan October 10, 2011

    Sometimes I use words so awesome the computer can’t even think of a better one. BTW, If you are handing out record contracts can I have a “shot to Grateness” too?

  4. what is mastering
    what is mastering November 3, 2011

    I laughed out loud when I saw this. A nice laugh at the end of a busy day.

  5. Chips O Tool
    Chips O Tool January 12, 2012

    And its getting worse. The west is being intentionally dumbed down by rampant socialist doctrine. Everyone is equal, no one is better at anything than anybody else. Everyone has the built in ability to do and become whatever they want, no talent or natural savvy required. In the west we celebrate mediocrity. Whilst in the East education is everything, and they celebrate excellence. This is what we did not that long ago.

    For example, in the UK higher exams are at the same level as what 14 year olds are doing in the Czech Republic. In saying that the Czech government is under pressure by the EU apparatchiks to normalise their education to EU standards. ie, dumb it down.

    Were all fu**ed if we allow this to carry on indefinitely.

    Incidentally, I don’t even have one single qualification. But compared to some at University in the UK today I’m an intellectual giant.

  6. Chips O Tool
    Chips O Tool January 12, 2012

    As I stated I have no qualifications at all. I’m certainly no Shakespeare. But a quick look at Gearslutz on any given day I will see this (GS btw is a place choc full of misinformation)

    I would of bought one of them

    instead of

    I would have bought one of them.

    That particular wrong phrase is every where. Ive even seen a journalist on Twitter use the same term. Said journalist writes for the Guardian. Amazing! Sorry, cant remember her name.

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